Tulpa

I’m a fixer for Al Jazeera. It says so on my card: FIXER. That level of candor is what I like about the job. Any other place I’ve ever worked, I’ve had euphemistic titles like “compliance engineer” or “special assistant to the president.” Since I’m paid to cut the bullshit, bullshit titles really kill me.

When the ThoughtForm Revolution broke out in Tibet, my employers in Qatar sent me to recruit the world’s best-known thoughtform as their special correspondent. But since when does William Gibson do freelance journalism?

I took the redeye to Vancouver. Continue reading

Octopus Sanctuary Trip Report

octopus

We spent this morning at the Laguna Negra octopus sanctuary, hacking through the jungle behind our local guide. The Laguna Negra villagers looked toward octopus tourism in the late 1960′s when the market for chicle gum was drying out. The central Yucatan jungle is home to twelve subspecies of octopus arboris, all of them now endangered or threatened. Four of the subspecies have been found within the sanctuary itself, and all village adults take shifts on armed patrol, discouraging poachers seeking meat and leather.

Our guide told us a (wonderful, possibly apocryphal) story of a school of octopodes imitating a sleeping adult spider monkey and then swarming and devouring the hapless ocelot who tried to prey on the monkey.

We had just about given up hope of seeing the elusive creatures when our guide motioned for us to stop. We stood breathless and listened to the cracking of branches and then caught a fleeting glimpse of something before whatever it was disappeared in a blurry cloud of diffracting ink.

Photo: Me, uneasily trying on black-market octopus-leather cap at one of the ubiquitous folkloric-craft stands on the road to Valladolid.

How to Steal a Hog

I come from a long line of pig thieves.

1957
My father János VI and his father János V used to drive down from Chowchilla and poach boar along the backroads around Monterey. (Safari-suit-wearing big-game fanatics had created a breeding population of boar on the Central Coast in the 1920’s.) One time dad and Grandpa got lost in the fog and shot a sea lion by mistake. Grandma put it in a casserole with macaroni and cream-of-celery soup.
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Perdix

Escape Route

He was my cousin and my father’s favorite apprentice.

Late at night when the fog was especially thick (which is to say every single night for many, many years) my father’s fakirs would slide down the chimneys of the grand and withdraw a few minutes later with a candlestick, a watch, a spoon, a brooch. When the thefts were discovered more servants would be sacked, more bellies would be empty and more children would crawl to my father pleading for work.

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Rejection Issues

Once they got the rejection issues fixed, several things happened:

  1. Pet taxidermy disappeared entirely. When my aunt Stephanie concluded her cat Tiger was near the end, she had Tiger appended to her (Stephanie’s) left shoulder, and supplied Tiger with blood from her own heart thereafter. This fell into a grey area in the dress code at Stephanie’s office.
  2. A small number of insecure men had their torsos grafted onto stallions. At that point the men were really hung, but they were no longer to the taste of most of the available women.
  3. A subset of vegetarians went fully ruminant, their abdomens crowded with extra stomachs, their manner laconic, their mouths full of cud.

Image CC-BY-NC-SA by kelseyfrost