The President this morning announced a temporary ban on conjunctive surgery, saying that elective conjunction jeopardizes the very notion of “individual,” as in “individual liberties” or “individual rights.” Completes, partials and their supporters are expected to demonstrate later today.
Image CC-BY-NC-ND by techne
Inspected by 9973 and verified false at time of posting.
Kai sent this in from City Pages:
Natural woman seeks man with both his own original hands. No transplants, no upgrades, no plugins, no prosthetics. If you’re out there, give me a sign.
Image CC-BY-NC-SA by assbach
Inspected by 9973 and verified false at time of posting.
You know the thing where your ax handle breaks so you replace the handle but then the head breaks so you replace the head but it’s the same ax?
Lawrence C’rz and James Williams have been on a decade-long quest to test that proposition. Taking advantage of the rapid advancements in transplant technology, C’rz and Williams first exchanged left arms. Then, in a frenzy of globetrotting part-swapping that rapidly burned through the once-extensive fortune Williams had amassed as a metallurgist (lead into coltan, anyone?) they visited grey-shading-into-black clinics from Bazaruto to Bocas del Toro (always with the B’s?) until last year in Babeldaob (which, as you’ll recall from the shrill media coverage, submerged completely in September) when they exchanged heads. The body with Williams’ head died under medically ambigous circumstances, and the body with C’rz’ head is now on trial for manslaughter under the legal doctrine “guilt follows the head.”
Image CC-BY-NC-ND by a shadow of my future self
Inspected by 9973 and verified false at time of posting.
Yiersan wanted an endorsement from Bruce Sterling, the inspiration for its new direct-marketed BrightLine line of vatgrown medical food*. When Sterling refused, Yiersan set up and publicized a cookiejar: an account in Sterling’s name, with funds available any time he reaches out for them. This increasingly-popular tactic is intended to imply a relationship and requires no complicity on the victim’s part. No word so far from Sterling.
*BrightLine seems to have come along at a perfect time: Just as tens of thousands of financial advisors found themselves out of work, Yiersan came along needing approximately the same skill-set: the ability to sell an apparently-customized mix of assetsvatgrown nutrients to a gullibleterrified populace.
image CC-BY-NC-SA by Mike Fischer
Inspected by 9973 and verified false at time of posting.
According to this article in International Leisure World (“Russia’s Annual Catalogue of Luxury Travel”), the Arend M. Agter Clinic in the Cape Town suburb of Newlands has begun offering guided vacations into your own memories. They don’t specify what technologies are being used (hypnosis, lucid dreaming, deep brain stimulation, SP-17?) I wonder whether they offer souvenir photos?
image CC-BY-NC-SA by monkeyinfez
Inspected by 9973 and verified false at time of posting.